Post by Jens Dietrich on Aug 1, 2008 20:11:12 GMT -8
If any of you are like me, and I know I am, then you'll have warm, fuzzy nostalgia for The Mummy, which despite all its shortcomings at least it had its heart in the right place.
Here's a dire warning for you, then: The Mummy 3 is by far the worst movie I have seen this year. By far! I swear, and I never thought I would say this, it made me miss the delicate touch and subtle humour of Stephen Sommers. It makes The Mummy Returns look good - really, really good - by comparison.
Every moment, every line of dialogue, ever plot contrivance, every terrible pun will make you want to tear out your eyes and stuff them in your ears. It's that uncomfortable. It feels like some sort of trip into George Lucas' most adolescent fantasies. If it reminds me of anything, it's the very worst moments of The Phantom Menace. Everything about the tone is just totally off, making it feel absolutely unlike a Mummy movie.
The worst? Maria Bello's performance as Evie. Now, I know that Rachel Weitz is a hard act to follow, but I really liked Bello in History of Violence and couldn't have possibly predicted the horror that is her performance in this movie. Remember how Weitz's Evie used to be brilliant but socially awkward, goofy, adorable and, above all, relatable? Well, the way Bello plays the character she's none of these things. All of a sudden she's this useless, affected, low-energy, upper-class twat, who's so busy keeping up her terribly fake British accent that she has no energy left to do anything else. She's so wooden, she makes Ikea Knightley look like Dame Judy Dench!
Stay away. For the love of all that is good and decent, STAY AWAY.
Here's a dire warning for you, then: The Mummy 3 is by far the worst movie I have seen this year. By far! I swear, and I never thought I would say this, it made me miss the delicate touch and subtle humour of Stephen Sommers. It makes The Mummy Returns look good - really, really good - by comparison.
Every moment, every line of dialogue, ever plot contrivance, every terrible pun will make you want to tear out your eyes and stuff them in your ears. It's that uncomfortable. It feels like some sort of trip into George Lucas' most adolescent fantasies. If it reminds me of anything, it's the very worst moments of The Phantom Menace. Everything about the tone is just totally off, making it feel absolutely unlike a Mummy movie.
The worst? Maria Bello's performance as Evie. Now, I know that Rachel Weitz is a hard act to follow, but I really liked Bello in History of Violence and couldn't have possibly predicted the horror that is her performance in this movie. Remember how Weitz's Evie used to be brilliant but socially awkward, goofy, adorable and, above all, relatable? Well, the way Bello plays the character she's none of these things. All of a sudden she's this useless, affected, low-energy, upper-class twat, who's so busy keeping up her terribly fake British accent that she has no energy left to do anything else. She's so wooden, she makes Ikea Knightley look like Dame Judy Dench!
Stay away. For the love of all that is good and decent, STAY AWAY.