Post by Jens Dietrich on Jan 26, 2005 9:11:37 GMT -8
Don't Get Mad, Get Funny!
It's a self help book about how to be funny. I have formulated a plan.
1) Read this book.
2) Acquire necessary funny skills
3) Create my own comedy website
4) Prophet!
I think this book is a joke in itself and that the only people who get the joke are the ones who wouldn't need to read the book.
I just can't tear my eyes away from this.
It's a self help book about how to be funny. I have formulated a plan.
1) Read this book.
2) Acquire necessary funny skills
3) Create my own comedy website
4) Prophet!
Brace yourself
When I was a teen, I had braces and contact lenses. This was so long ago that braces were made out of steel, not plastic, and contact lenses were clear. It is important to the story for you to understand that without my contact lenses, I can't see past my nose.
One day, I dropped a contact lens on the white shag carpet at home. I didn't have the other one in, so I got down on my hands and knees to try to find the missing lens. I got down so close to the carpet, in fact, that my braces got stuck in the shag rug. I could hear my dad's voice in my head, "You break those braces and you're grounded for life!" I wasn't even going to try to free myself.
Unfortunately, no one was home. So for the next twenty minutes (although it seemed an eternity), I had to lay face down in the carpet waiting to be rescued. Finally, my stepmother came home and cut me out with a pair of scissors.
The next day at school, I found a stray carpet strand in my braces!
When I was a teen, I had braces and contact lenses. This was so long ago that braces were made out of steel, not plastic, and contact lenses were clear. It is important to the story for you to understand that without my contact lenses, I can't see past my nose.
One day, I dropped a contact lens on the white shag carpet at home. I didn't have the other one in, so I got down on my hands and knees to try to find the missing lens. I got down so close to the carpet, in fact, that my braces got stuck in the shag rug. I could hear my dad's voice in my head, "You break those braces and you're grounded for life!" I wasn't even going to try to free myself.
Unfortunately, no one was home. So for the next twenty minutes (although it seemed an eternity), I had to lay face down in the carpet waiting to be rescued. Finally, my stepmother came home and cut me out with a pair of scissors.
The next day at school, I found a stray carpet strand in my braces!
I think this book is a joke in itself and that the only people who get the joke are the ones who wouldn't need to read the book.
These days, a lot of our bad news comes over the phone or is recorded on voicemail or on an answering machine). This allows you many alternatives that you don't necessarily have when dealing with bad news face-to-face.
Prepare for these situations by making a list of humor options that you think would work for you. You might consider some of these ideas:
* Make faces.
* Roll over and play dead on the floor.
* Make loud noises with your armpit.
* Press a noisemaker.
* Pretend you're strangling yourself with the phone cord.
* Make gagging motions.
* Line all your troll dolls up and have a troll war in which your side wins because of superior intellect and skill.
* Doodle ugly pictures of the person delivering bad news.
Prepare for these situations by making a list of humor options that you think would work for you. You might consider some of these ideas:
* Make faces.
* Roll over and play dead on the floor.
* Make loud noises with your armpit.
* Press a noisemaker.
* Pretend you're strangling yourself with the phone cord.
* Make gagging motions.
* Line all your troll dolls up and have a troll war in which your side wins because of superior intellect and skill.
* Doodle ugly pictures of the person delivering bad news.
I just can't tear my eyes away from this.