Post by Jens Dietrich on Apr 4, 2005 20:41:38 GMT -8
I like Tony Scott.
I like Richard Kelly, a lot.
I like Keira Knightley in more ways than one.
But if I have to hear her say -- in that damned affected accent -- "My name is Domino Harvey. I am a bounty hunter" one more time, I'm going to scream bloody murder.
Let's face it, this is quite frankly the single worst trailer I have ever seen. From the unbearably excessive bass to the obnoxious colour distortion, to the helter-skelter editing, to the fact that, dammit, the whole thing looks like the brainless MTV version of Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, every frame of this damn trailer is sickening to me.
It starts with an almost unrecognizable Keira Knightley shooting two deafeningly loud machine guns at seemingly nothing. The screen freezes. Voice over: "You're probably wondering how I got to this point."
Erm, no, frankly. I'm not wondering simply because I have no f***ing idea where or who you actually are, and where or who you used to be before shooting randomly at stuff offscreen. Sorry.
Then, "My name is Domino Harvey. I am a bounty hunter." Oooookaaaaaaaay. More random stuff happens. Chris Walken says a few lines in that undeniably cool but all-too-familiar Chris Walken way. Lucy Liu taps her coffee cup a few times. Explosions. People shooting. Buff guys and gals in camouflage outfits walking towards the camera in slow-mo. More explosions. It all looks like some failed Bruckheimer TV production. "My name is Domino Harvey. I am a bounty hunter." Yeah, alright, heard you the first time. Some more obnoxious bass blasts. "My name is Domino Harvey. I am a bounty hunter." Movie title appears. "My name is Domino Harvey. I am a bounty hunter."
Aaaaaaaaarrrgghhhhhhh! Will you shut up already?
I half expected the thing to turn into one of those rave hits:
"My name is Domino Harvey. I am a bounty hunter.
Oomp oomp oomp
Domino oomp, oomp
Harvey oomp oomp oomp
I am a bounty hunter thump
thump thump thump
oomp oomp my name is Domino Harvey
oomp Domino Harvey
thump thump
My name is Domino Harvey
baseline riff
I am a bounty hunter
A bounty hunter
bounty hunter
bounty hunter
oomp, oomp, thump
My name is Domino Harvey. I am a bounty hunter."
Bloody Murder!
I like Richard Kelly, a lot.
I like Keira Knightley in more ways than one.
But if I have to hear her say -- in that damned affected accent -- "My name is Domino Harvey. I am a bounty hunter" one more time, I'm going to scream bloody murder.
Let's face it, this is quite frankly the single worst trailer I have ever seen. From the unbearably excessive bass to the obnoxious colour distortion, to the helter-skelter editing, to the fact that, dammit, the whole thing looks like the brainless MTV version of Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, every frame of this damn trailer is sickening to me.
It starts with an almost unrecognizable Keira Knightley shooting two deafeningly loud machine guns at seemingly nothing. The screen freezes. Voice over: "You're probably wondering how I got to this point."
Erm, no, frankly. I'm not wondering simply because I have no f***ing idea where or who you actually are, and where or who you used to be before shooting randomly at stuff offscreen. Sorry.
Then, "My name is Domino Harvey. I am a bounty hunter." Oooookaaaaaaaay. More random stuff happens. Chris Walken says a few lines in that undeniably cool but all-too-familiar Chris Walken way. Lucy Liu taps her coffee cup a few times. Explosions. People shooting. Buff guys and gals in camouflage outfits walking towards the camera in slow-mo. More explosions. It all looks like some failed Bruckheimer TV production. "My name is Domino Harvey. I am a bounty hunter." Yeah, alright, heard you the first time. Some more obnoxious bass blasts. "My name is Domino Harvey. I am a bounty hunter." Movie title appears. "My name is Domino Harvey. I am a bounty hunter."
Aaaaaaaaarrrgghhhhhhh! Will you shut up already?
I half expected the thing to turn into one of those rave hits:
"My name is Domino Harvey. I am a bounty hunter.
Oomp oomp oomp
Domino oomp, oomp
Harvey oomp oomp oomp
I am a bounty hunter thump
thump thump thump
oomp oomp my name is Domino Harvey
oomp Domino Harvey
thump thump
My name is Domino Harvey
baseline riff
I am a bounty hunter
A bounty hunter
bounty hunter
bounty hunter
oomp, oomp, thump
My name is Domino Harvey. I am a bounty hunter."
Bloody Murder!