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Post by tharpdevenport on May 5, 2008 22:07:47 GMT -8
You're right -- I guess if they were both white, or both black, the disturbing serial killer and his trampeline would be funnier.
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Post by Jangles on May 6, 2008 19:05:49 GMT -8
Black people make me LAWL
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Post by tharpdevenport on May 25, 2008 15:06:17 GMT -8
P = The problem logged by the pilot. S = The solution and action taken by the mechanics. |
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: #2 Properller seeping prop fluid. S: #2 Properller seepage normal. #1, #3 and #4 propellers lack normal seepage. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what they're there for. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed.
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Post by tharpdevenport on Jun 30, 2008 21:11:40 GMT -8
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Post by tharpdevenport on Nov 29, 2008 14:35:38 GMT -8
Two nuns are driving through Transylvania after sunset. Suddenly - bang! A hissing, snarling vampire lands on the windshield. "Sister -- show him your cross!" shouts the first nun. The second nun sticks her head out the window and yells, "Hey - asshole! Get off the fucking car!"
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Post by tharpdevenport on May 4, 2010 6:19:15 GMT -8
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is Politics?"
Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family, so call me The Prime Minister. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government. We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.
The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we will call him the Future
Now think about that and see if it makes sense."
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his nappy. So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy say's to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."
The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."
The little boy replies, "The Prime Minister is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep crap.".
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Post by tharpdevenport on Oct 5, 2010 15:27:43 GMT -8
Here you guys go; you've probably heard most of them before, but on the plus side you don't have to type them out to send them to people:
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Post by tharpdevenport on Oct 6, 2010 6:51:53 GMT -8
From the 1965 & onward "Hollywood Squares":
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